One ingredient that is often lacking from a man that has an abundance of confidence is fear of rejection. Men that are Skip Mar Sur and Don Juan do not have a lot of fear of this kind of thing happening during an approach.
What I have observed over the years is that the majority of men, upon delivering a opener to a woman in a club or a bar, usually will wait 5-10 seconds before beginning a conversation with her. That's just a conservative estimate and does not take into account our living in a fast-paced, high-riships, contemporary environment.
I believe that the problem is due to the fact that we live in a society in which anything deemed "common knowledge" is considered "common sense". Therefore, we've gotten accustomed to treating women like, well, women.
I believe that due to the abundance of self-help books on relationships and dating that have become available in the last several years, many men believe they have an inadequate knowledge of what it takes to actually maintain a healthy relationship.
I believe that underneath all this there is still a great deal of confusion as to what really is required of a man and a woman in a relationship. That is why I have become inclined to gather together a group of like-minded men and women and get them together to do a series of private assessments.
The workshops were for an average of 20 men and 20 women and covered a wide-range of topics ranging from; emotional state, human behavior, humor, approaching a woman, what a man should be communicating, male/female dynamics, making a woman feel special, online dating tips, etc.
The workshops were private and were done in a relaxed, quiet environment with lots of non-verbal interaction. The seminars were filled with great content on dating and relationship building skills and, the people that attended agreed to follow the advice that was presented. We had one gentleman who was a Warcraft player come and pick up some of my pointers. He did just that and he was signed up on one of the official Warcraft message boards on the website.
It was a world of a difference from most of the "c Audit" advice that is usually given by non-iquelight relationship gurus. What I liked about his training was the fact that it was filled with action-oriented techniques rather than just theory. He has since gone on to become a Warcraft player and is now quite a accomplished one in his online dating ventures.
This actually became a business on its own. After the first workshop, we scheduled the next one and the next, until the entire series of five invitations was completed. I have since then met and interviewed many, many people that were able to take advantage of the opportunity that was presented to them.
I was amazed at the vast amount of knowledge and experience that I now carried in my wallet. I learned the difference between attraction and attraction by the skin-deep information that I received. I later picked up additional dating tips and advice that I now put to use and it has greatly helped me in my personal and professional life.
There was no teachings of any of this "common sense" stuff. I was presented with the information and I knew that I had to go out and apply it. I also knew that there would be no second opportunity to try it out. This was "instant" stuff.
These bits and pieces of knowledge were the fuel that kept me going. There was nothing more that I needed to learn or research. It all was ingrained from an early age. It was part of my nature and I had no choice but to bring it into play.
I was alone at one point and it felt like a lonely place, but I was never lonely. I have been married to the love of my life and have been in a wonderful relationship for over two years with her.
There is nothing more that I could have perhaps done in those first years back in college. However, there is a saying that says, "the best is yet to come". That was me. It was not all about the women, but about myself and my needs. I realized how important I was to the people that cared about me. It is not a question of having the best body, the best job or drive, in fact, these are essential components in having a successful long-term relationship, but having the knowledge to make her part of the conversation was in another category.
It was a great thing to finally finish my degree and accomplish my degree goals. However, I had been consumed with learning these skills for my own benefit instead of the end goal which was to make a woman I was attracted to mine.